Overcoming emotional dependency can be quite a difficult challenge. But that can be achieved with a series of important steps to follow. Of course you have to understand the cause of it, and how it affects us. Usually certain patterns in childhood can be the cause of this dependency.
Since we are children we grow up with the idea of depending on the person who takes care of us throughout our growth (Parents). Human beings are totally social, needing constant communication with others. And the attachment we feel for others is completely normal, that’s why we create bonds with other people.
However, this bond can be secure or insecure depending on how the family influenced childhood. If it influenced in a safe way we will create good links. If, on the contrary, in an unsafe way (such as neglect, absence of either parent, abuse, divorce, etc. It will be built in a negative way.
It can also be the result of some betrayal or rejection that occurred in adolescence or part of adulthood. What may have caused a mark on the person to want to emotionally depend on someone?
What is emotional dependency:
Emotional dependence is a bond where the intense need that one person has for another is created. It basically supports your safety and happiness in your partner / friendship. This problem can be identified by the following symptoms:
- They are afraid or afraid to be without that person or partner.
- They don’t want to end a relationship that doesn’t really make them happy for fear of being alone.
- They prefer not to share their wants or needs with their partner so as not to upset her.
- They have a lack of self-esteem and self -worth.
Another simple way to identify if we suffer from emotional dependence is by taking a test. It is practical and can help us start this process.
Codependency implies investing all the time, effort and even money in the other person since you do not want them to leave your side for nothing.
How to overcome or overcome emotional dependency:
It is not ideal to be afraid of losing your partner because you do not feel sure of yourself. That is why we will show you a treatment that consists of 12 steps to overcome the emotional codependency of friendship / partner after a breakup or not.
- Recognize the problem; to start a process you always have to identify yourself in the situation we are in to know how we will deal with it.
- Let go of fear and take action.
- Give ourselves time, invest time in our desires.
- Work on the self-esteem and value that we have as people.
- Do not accept what we do not want.
- Renew beliefs, since we must have them a little bad enough to think that we cannot be alone, when we can.
- Make new friends and pick up old friends.
- Have courage and willpower.
- Be constant and firm in our decision without returning for anything.
- Love in a healthy way, you can investigate which is the appropriate way.
- Don’t set expectations of another person.
- Seek professional help. Having an expert person in the area will be very helpful.
If you had a breakup, don’t think about going back with that person, give yourself time. If he keeps writing or talking to you every day and does not ask you out, he probably just wants to maintain a good friendship relationship, nothing more. Don’t get your hopes up and stop thinking about it. Think more about yourself and your personal improvement.
In this way you will start a better life and you will be able to enjoy a healthy relationship in the future.
Recommended books to overcome emotional dependence:
To overcome emotional dependence it can help us to read books that deal with these topics, we recommend:
Books for detachment; books to learn to let go; books of emotional detachment; books to overcome emotional dependence and everything about it; and books on attachment.
Walter Riso’s books are very good. It has a guide for this topic, books on self-esteem and self-esteem that will boost you much more.