When we start a new relationship, we expect that anything can happen. There are still many to learn, and above all to know how to adapt to the life of your new partner. Especially if you’re new partner has children and they don’t seem to like you very much. Have you had problems with your partner’s children? Follow our advice so that this does not affect your relationship.
How do I deal with my partner if he has children that I do not want or are a problem?
When we are faced with the tortuous situation of having a partner with children that are a problem or are difficult to deal with, it can lead to many problems with our partner. Therefore, even if you do not want it or it is difficult for you, if you want to keep your relationship, you must improve your relationship with your partner’s children.
The first thing to do is stay calm. It is not healthy for you to have a defensive or aggressive attitude in the face of any uncomfortable situation that may arise. Don’t become the enemy.
Why is communication with your partner important? Because in a common situation, children will try under any circumstances to leave you as the bad guy. You can avoid this if you have a healthy and honest conversation with your partner about why their children are being very difficult.
But be careful, because the last thing you want to do is rant about his children right to his face, the idea of keeping him informed is so that he feels your intentions to improve both the relationship with him and with his children.
Plan a talk with everyone, a group outing, or a therapy at home, since these types of problems must be solved immediately. And of course, your partner must feel the same interest as you in wanting to solve the problems.
Children will always be jealous of a new member of the family, especially when they are older. You just have to give them time to adjust to their new environment.
How to improve my relationship with my partner’s children?
Having a good relationship with your partner’s children is very important so that the relationship is not a total chaos all the time. It does not mean that you should be his new mother if you do not want him, just having a good coexistence and getting along with each other will be enough to create harmony.
The feelings of love, affection and family develop over time. It is not good to force the situation, or to force them to accept you. Give them their time and above all:
- Give them their own space. Don’t jump into their affairs abruptly just to show that you are interested or can be trusted. When they are ready they will look for you on their own. Meanwhile you can limit yourself to giving your opinion on certain occasions and supporting them in whatever they need.
- Let them know that you are not there to replace their mother. In most situations, young children or adolescents are wary of a new woman in their lives because they feel that she is a replacement for their mother. Either because he died or because he separated from the family nucleus. In their minds, they still do not accept the idea that their father is with someone other than their mother.
Can my relationship work if I don’t get along with my partner’s children?
This is the million dollar question of all women who have had or have problems with their partner’s children. Two situations can develop:
- The problems are caused by you: Children and adolescents are very perceptive. And if you have any kind of bad intention towards them or towards their father, they will immediately know it and of course they will turn against you. Don’t be so toxic.
- The problems are caused by them: Because of jealousy, or bad attitudes, children do not want to accept you.
Your relationship can continue, if the problems are not caused by you and your partner agrees to help you improve the attitude of their children. Otherwise, you are the reason for the problems, prepare to leave that family nucleus soon if you do not change your attitude.